have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
There was a lot of him and a little penis
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
