too bad you live with your parents still
what day is it and did you see me today?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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