Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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