Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
