Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
