i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
