She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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