getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
