How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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