I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
