i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
