maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
