im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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