He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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