so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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