he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All the doctor said was why
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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