I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
