I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
