Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
