I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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