winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
