just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Your penis caused this!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
