hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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