I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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