I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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