:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
