3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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