i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
