How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
