I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i think i just lost a toe
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
