when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
