You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my being single is dangerous.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
