So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
