i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
