Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
