come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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