I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
