i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
