The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
