Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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