i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
