Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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