the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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