Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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