chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
