They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
