Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
