So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
