You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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