Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
